Alpha Females: Jacqueline Kennedy vs. Marilyn Monroe
Before I start, let me clarify a couple of things:
1. An Alpha Female is a woman who can get the commitment of a quality man.
2. GirlGame is the art and science of how a woman can get the commitment of a quality man.
Fellow Blogerettes and Commenters, please help refine these working definitions as you see fit!
Let’s look at two women who were active around the same period in time, both of whom seem to have had their pick of men to obtain commitment from.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis: the unlikely Alpha Female
To this day, Jackie O. endures as an icon. She was able to obtain the commitment of multiple high-status and quality men, including John F. Kennedy, one of the most popular US presidents of all time.
If you look at Jacqueline, what would you rate her in terms of beauty? A 6? A 7? Maybe an 8? How did a woman who looks merely above average score high-status males?
John F. Kennedy was a young senator on the rise in Washington, DC when he married Jackie Kennedy. He was also a notorious playboy, something which continued after marriage as well (in fact, Marilyn Monroe was one of his conquests).
JFK had his pick of society women. I’m sure some of those women were homely, and some were beautiful. If he had wanted, he could have picked a woman who was both beautiful and who had all the qualities suitable for a politician’s wife.
Jackie O. didn’t have a squeaky clean past. Her father was a womanizer and alcoholic, her mother remarried a much-older divorcee, and her family had financial troubles. But being in the society and having money (even on credit) was enough to expose her to many eligible bachelors.
Jackie O., classy playette, was first engaged to a “dentist from New Jersey”, whom she later left for JFK — she held out for the big one, it would seem.
To this day, Jackie O. is probably the most popular First Lady of all time. Even before the tragedy of her husband’s assassination, people around the world were charmed by her.
How did this just-above-average-looking woman do it?
- Her dress sense and grooming were immaculate. Her clothes fit just right, they were the right colors and fabrics, her hair was perfectly coiffed to show off her features, and she had just the lightest touch of make-up to play up her features. As a result, she looked the best she could possibly look. Her unique look and her always being a step ahead of everyone else, fashion-wise, made her seem like a greater beauty than she really was.
- She had class and grace. This gave her aura that made her seem almost regal.
- She was incredibly feminine. If you listen to her speak as First Lady, she had a very soft baby voice. Her mannerisms were as feminine as her clothing.
- She was mysterious. This contributed further to her aura of being almost ethereal. This partially elevated her status by making her seem like she really was better than everyone else.
- She had good GirlGame. When news of her husband’s affairs went around, she was photographed with other men fawning all over her; she would indulge her husband in “quickies” during the work day; she was always working on looking great while being a charming wife and mother.
There are numerous books about Jackie O. out there that detail how to follow her approach to marriage, style, and life in general. Those are far more exhaustive than my little post here, but I particularly enjoyed What Would Jackie Do, along with the numerous biographies on her life.
I think it’s interesting to study at her as a woman who, while she had the potential to just be another cute face, did everything possible to maximize her attractiveness and successfully snagged some very high status men. Reading about her, it is clear that her mother and sister were social climbers, as she was. She just did a really good job of doing it in a way where it wasn’t obvious. And she was successful.
Aristotle Onassis left his wife for her, and put aside his longtime lover Maria Callas too (he kept an affair with Maria after marriage, however). Jackie ended up divorcing Ari, despite his having affairs on the side which some Alphas say would keep a woman feeling tingly toward a man.
Up until she died she had no problems finding admirers, even as a very old woman.
Interestingly, she and JFK produced a legendary Alpha Man: John F. Kennedy, Jr. This guy was the living definition of most eligible bachelor. His mere presence was enough to make women melt. I remember seeing him on TV as a little kid thinking he was super, duper cute and developing an instant crush. He went out women in Hollywood, women in college, women in society, random women, you name it. He then married a woman who wasn’t that much younger than or or seemingly exceptional, Carolyn Bessette. But Carolyn seems to have been quite the little playette, according to model Michael Bergin,whom she dated and supposedly even had a “friends with benefits” thing with. I wonder why an “Alpha Male” like JFK Jr. settled down so early, since he was working in journalism and didn’t need a proper wife anyway. Why didn’t he just wait longer to get married, and enjoy his bachelorhood some more? Was her GirlGame that good?
Marilyn Monroe: the sexy Alpha Female with issues
Marilyn Monroe is iconic as a total sexpot. She oozed sexiness and sensuality, had movie star looks, a banging body and babydoll face with bedroom eyes. She looked beautiful and really knew how to work it with how she moved her body, dressed, spoke, and emoted.
She was type of woman who made the sidewalk sizzle as she walked on it. Who did she get to marry her? A parade of men:
1. James Dougherty: she married him probably for convenience at that time so she’d have a home. She divorced him when she was ready to move on to the big time.
2. Joe Dimaggio, baseball legend: this guy was the like Tom Brady or Brett Favre of the old days. He was a divorced man who women everywhere loved, so he had lots of options. However, he left all of these options behind to marry Marilyn. He was dominant, and would often yell at her, so he seems to qualify as Alpha. But Marilyn divorced him citing mental cruelty. He was an Alpha from his fame and money, but perhaps he didn’t have the personality and techniques to tame Marilyn.
3. Playwright Arthur Miller, who left his wife for her. Marilyn was filled with angst about being taking seriously as an actress, so she married this nerdy, intellectual playwright. Eventually they divorced. Arthur Miller had no problem marrying someone else after her, so he may have been Alpha as well.
Marilyn slept around a lot and used her body to her benefit. If you look at her face, I’d say she’s at least an 8 or 9. Sure, she wore a lot of make-up and dyed her hair, but she was quite lovely even before she hit it big.
However, she had mental issues — she was troubled. Despite being such an Alpha Female she seemed to settle for being just a little affair to JFK, although she really wanted more:
…Monroe was in love with President Kennedy and wanted to marry him in the early 1960s, that she called the White House frequently, and that when the married President had to break off their affair, Monroe became even more depressed, and then turned to Robert Kennedy…
Uh oh, sounds like she found an Alpha who was unattainable…but was willing to settle for his brother. Really, were there no Alpha men associated with Hollywood back then who could win her away from JFK? No one else impressed her that much?
Was her GirlGame only good for the short-term but not the long-term?
Are both of these women Alpha Females? Is one more alpha than the other? It’s easy to claim any of the men above are not Alpha Males at all, but is that really true? So who was gaming whom?