Silence is Golden Game
This entry is in tribute to voices who everyday are silenced against their will as a product of women and men in power. If there is no avenue for me to exercise my freedom to choose when and if to speak honestly…
If this freedom has been surrendered to your tyranny then I can no longer express my inner self. Soon, I will forget who I am. Soon, who I am will cease to exist. Those who could discover new worlds would have been deprived. All ideas are uniform and the oppressors are satisfied.
Let us honour the choice to both speak and hold one’s peace, remembering those who have little choices and the millions more who have benefited because of rebellion against silence regardless.
A good deal of Girl Game lies in generating attraction yet holding yourself selectively in reserve. As with many aspects, your conversational skills can prove to be very important. Initial impressions of conversation can easily set the permanent template by which your personality is judged. The more highly he thinks of his judgment skills, the more likely he is to extrapolate from limited information.
When in doubt, be silent.
Use the silence to:
- take a moment to think carefully about what you’re saying. If you break it, let your words have form, impact and soul. Give them life.
- take a moment to think carefully about what he’s saying. He’ll see you taking him seriously or giving him a body-language rich reaction to what he’s said.
- reveal hints of genuine shyness, self-consciousness and vulnerability you’re feeling. Give him the opportunity to draw you out.
- test him. See if he’s actually interested in you as a person or as a substitutable object of sex: is he talking at you or is he actually allowing involvement of you in the conversation? If you have to fight to be heard, simply be quiet and monitor carefully from then on if he’s interested in a response from you. It could be nervousness on his part where he feels the need to impress you with his spiels and has trouble registering your response or it could be that he’s genuinely not interested in what you have to say.
What pitfalls does silence help avoid?
- Too Much Information
You want to disclose little about sensitive issues related to your past or those around you, without some heavy prompting and definitely not on first meeting. This avoids the inevitable judgment incurred by these events (it could be not so much the events as your attitude towards them: if you imply you view them as normal) and speculation that there’s more to it you’re not disclosing. Avoiding the trip of the TMI trap also makes you the soul of discretion.
In every successful interaction, the language you speak is tailored to the individual in front of you: their triggers, their whims and their tolerances. Listen carefully to him. Confirm your evaluation of the broad strokes of who he is before journeying into deep conversation.
The art of speaking in great lengths but not saying anything especially substantial is a prevalent problem with society in general. Compounding this is that conversation may not be your strong point. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; you need to avoid the situation where you’re pulled into conversations and show yourself up. Sometimes you need to remember that the best way to express yourself is always show, not tell. Show him what it is you want to say, through your body language or other actions. Do something that says ‘I care about you’. Fulfil a promise or suggestion you made. Act.
- Lack of Class
Habits such as swearing could get you into hot water.
This probably applies particularly to long-term relationships. You don’t want to talk too much to him. Sometimes a man needs to retreat to his cave. It can be so tempting to reach out to your significant other and communicate, especially if they’re upset or distant. Sometimes he’s not in the mood to be able to deal with much of anything and you cannot reach him until he manages to reset himself. Sometimes you need to let him miss you and you need to miss him to aid in keeping the embers glowing. Sometimes it’s just good to be together and just enjoy being together, in silence.
Of course, I dislike silence. There’re other and better ways of achieving the same objectives.
I love conversation. My mind’s filled with noise I need to clear and ideas that I need to develop. I enjoy entertaining people and learning from them. I love expressing emotionality and playing at games of logic. I love complimenting effusively where its merited. My own experience suggests men probably have no idea how much women can avoid complimenting them because it’s so easily mistaken for interest.
I love a good conversation. This is why I can be considered a good conversationalist. I mildly mimic the masters. Reach for a description that captures me and may be unusual. Make an effort and put thought into what I’m saying. Think about what I want to convey and how best to convey it in the best way to the person in front of me; that’s why I work much better in a one-on-one basis.
When I’m not a good conversationalist is when I’m hampered by a lack of confidence. This is sometimes because of the intimidation I may get from the person in front of me or a lack of confidence in my conversational content. Arabic words do not trip off easily from my tongue, for example.
Sometimes I know what I’m saying is not strictly the truth. It’s most of the truth or most likely the truth. In that instance, I allow too much doubt to creep into the way I present the idea so as to remain strictly accurate. The unfortunate nature of human interaction is this hampers the view of you as a confident person.
I’m especially terrible when I don’t feel safe or connected to who I’m speaking to.
Back to you: In conversation, refine sensitive content but don’t change the basics. Play to your strengths, retain who you are and retain what sets you apart. However, be the best talker you can be. If all things go well, he’ll silence you by finding some other occupation for your luscious lips soon enough.