Lost in His Cave, or Lost Interest in You?
Guys going into their “caves” can be incredibly puzzling to girls.
Everything seems to be going fine, and all of a sudden he will disappear or become aloof .
The cave describes the time when a man pulls away to distract himself from a stress in his life. A woman may interpret cave behavior as her partner ignoring her on purpose; this is natural because, often, when in the cave, a man will occupy himself with activities that seem to have nothing to do with the issue at hand. The rubber band describes the natural intimacy cycle of a man and can slightly mimic cave behavior, though in this case he’s close and attentive then suddenly distant and uninterested. When in a loving relationship, a man needs to carve out time for himself so that he can regain his independence and self-worth.
[Note: isn't it interesting "rubberband" sounds like a popular PUA technique to keep her interested? And the "wave" described in the link sounds like sh*ttesting? Both were described by this author in the 1990s-early 2000s.]
Whether he needs some “me-time” to think, is running some PUA style hot-and-cold Game, or isn’t into her any more, a girl needs to figure out what’s going on.
We girls don’t have a lot of time to waste on dead-ends. Find a guy who wants to commit to you who you love back. If he’s not serious about you, move on ASAP.
What should a girl do?
- Should she demand an explanation why he seems to be ignoring her?
- Should she call/text him so he doesn’t think she’s “playing games?”
- Should she leave him alone and patiently wait for him to take the lead again? How long is reasonable if she feels abandoned?
- If she waits for him, should she act like nothing happened or acknowledge it?
For brevity, I’ve discussed my “field-tested experiences” here. Almost always, if I reached out first and asked him why he disappeared, I’d eventually get an earful of his criticisms of me. Sometimes for the first time ever, sometimes just in expanded form. *Without fail.* Why he didn’t just tell me that stuff bothered him, who knows. And he felt totally fine staying in the dark about my life.
Your turn: what should girls do when he disappears? When should she stick it out, and when should she just cut and run?
GirlGame Books Discussion
Some say GirlGame advice out there is awful and generally worthless. Some say GirlGame advice doesn’t really exist, or isn’t nearly as thorough as BoyGame.
Let’s objectively review the GirlGame advice out there and how it is (or isn’t) being used. We’ll start with books, since those still have the largest collective audience.
I’ll try to 1) summarize the major points, 2) point out the controversial stuff, 3) assess the book’s impact and pervasiveness.
First review will be in 1-2 weeks. Please vote for your preference!