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The Daily Mail on Seducing Men

April 5, 2010

I’ll cut out the fat and separate out the meat from this Daily Mail article on seducing men. This article is itself adapted from a book by Andrew Trees called Decoding Love.

sxc.hu/profile/shotsling

Studies show that women who are seen as blatantly taking the initiative with men are perceived negatively.

[...]

In a 1985 study, researchers made an attractive woman target a man roughly 10ft away and then see what it took to get him to approach her within 10 minutes.

[...] Even making eye contact multiple times, if that signal wasn’t accompanied by a smile, had only a modest success rate of less than 20 per cent.To be highly successful, a woman needed to make eye contact multiple times and accompany that eye contact with a smile.

When she did this, 60 per cent of the men eventually approached her and struck up a conversation.

Actually, I’m not sure if the original research bothered differentiating between attractiveness and approachability of the woman in question. It definitely didn’t bother checking man’s attractiveness compared to speed of approach: increasing reluctance of approach might indicate being taken, uninterested or lacking confidence.  I wonder if there’s a sweet spot to when you time an approach in the rare event a woman is interested without a man interacting with her first.

Lipstick

Men’s first impression of a woman’s attractiveness has been shown to be much higher when she wears lipstick.

I wonder what kind of attractiveness this is: do her loops look more luscious or is she sending a social sexual signal through wearing makeup?
Ovulation and the Pill

A menstruating [lap] dancer made an average of £22 an hour, while a woman who was neither ovulating nor menstruating averaged £32 an hour.

During their fertile period when the women were ovulating, the dancers’ tips escalated to a whopping £45 an hour.

[...]
According to the lap dancer study, the dancers who were on the Pill averaged only £24 an hour in tips, while those not taking it averaged £34 an hour – you can be sure that the Pill has a similar effect on the appeal of women in general.
Your Weight: Don’t Mention It
45 per cent of men objected to women who talked about their weight or their newest diet.
More fun topics include how you plan to feed him ;)

(Lovely reader chic noir — if you’re reading — don’t say it! That’s not what I meant, woman!)
23 Comments leave one →
  1. April 5, 2010 9:45 pm

    Lipstick:
    Men are attracted to a woman who is healthy. Lipstick can give lips a rosy, moisturized look. However, using a good chapstick/lip balm and slightly biting one’s lip can produce a similar effect. Of course, being truly healthy and coursing with this energy is the best way to achieve rosy skin and lips, healthy hair, etc.

    Ovulation and the pill:
    Having never been on the birth control pill, my experience is not the most objective, but I have noticed a distinct difference in the way I feel about men at different times of the month. Very distinct. Long before I really knew how my cycle worked, I recognized that my senses were heightened to all that is masculine during said time. Their scent, presence, energy, etc., stands out to me like flashing neon; even at the supermarket, for example, they are no longer fellow human beings buying their groceries, they are walking sex. It’s embarrassing but it’s the truth. I’ve had the thought that this must be how men see women most of the time.

    Perhaps I just notice men more during these times and subsequently become more aware of their attention. Perhaps, as the article suggests, I am producing the appropriate elements to draw them, but there is a difference in their behavior. It’s all so dog and cat, really — we just have the ability to control ourselves and not act on our urges. I do think it would be beneficial for men to know their wives cycles, though, if for no other reason than to prepare for mind-blowing sexual interaction.

    Mentioning your new fitness goals/signaling men to approach:
    So much of this depends on the individual men and women in the scenario.

    So the main points to be taken away are: have luscious lips, don’t take the pill, smile a lot, and mums the word on fitness goals until I find out he’s just as passionate. Got it!

  2. April 6, 2010 1:34 pm

    The power of the smile is legendary!

    I’d always wondered if the attraction to lipstick was socialised.

    Re: cycles. Doug can tell where I am just by my online behaviour.

  3. adrian permalink
    April 6, 2010 2:22 pm

    Personally, I dislike women wearing lipstick because they often make the colour too bright or they simply don’t need make up. Subtlety is the key…

  4. Firepower permalink
    April 6, 2010 2:45 pm

    you always see expert makeup on rhona mitra, brazilian supermodels and Beyonce . brown eyes are plain, so they require much makeup artifice to make them alluring

  5. April 6, 2010 4:18 pm

    Rebekkah: Are you really single? How old? Red lips was a staple of vintage models, wasn’t it? (Being derived of the vintage collection on your blog makes me sad.)

    Adrian: Preferences seem to differ wildly. Lips themselves aren’t a dealbreaker by any means, are they?

    There’s such a poverty of data, it seems, with no differentiation of what types of men like what.

  6. Rebekah permalink
    April 6, 2010 7:50 pm

    Bhetti,

    I’m wondering why the emphasis on really? Just curious. Yes, I’m single and most people in my life would say chronically so: I never have boyfriends and rarely date. I’ve only had one relationship in my life, which lasted for 4 years, and haven’t dated since! I’m 32 and will most likely be one of those cat ladies frequently written about, except with dogs.

    Red lips and the “cat eye” (similar to the picture you chose for this post) did seem to be the fashion back in the day. And I gave my blog the hoof; it felt kind of abandoned or something. :(

  7. April 7, 2010 8:21 am

    I think lipstick can signal an effort in appearance, which is a good thing. Feminine girls tend to know how to use make-up and the more tomboy-ish ones tend not to, which men are privy to. Frumpy has never been sexy and even if a casual gal wants to look polished and put together a touch of lipstick can be the key. Urban vs. other non-urban areas make all the difference. If a girl goes out in a major city it would be unwise to not be wearing some sort of color or gloss for added allure. Natural make-up has its place, as does “made-up” make-up. I would say not to go too unnatural as to not disappoint once it comes off.

    I also have little experience being on the pill. I’ve only been on a form of birth control for a total of a year or so in my life. I didn’t like it when I was on it because it does seem to heighten emotions in a bad way and hormones can get out of whack. But sexual attraction is heightened during certain times of the month, indeed. I can completely see why in a large city with a lot of easy male attention how some girls have taken advantage of spontaneous sexual affairs and/or “hook-ups”. I do side on the line of sex being a good, necessary and healthy part of a complete balanced life. But we women can go without if need be if we are minus a good man/boyfriend in our lives, as men tend to not have such capabilities.

    And yes, only discuss your weight or diet with women. Never mention it to men. I have never seen talking about weight in front of a potential romantic interest go in favor of the girl.

  8. April 7, 2010 9:12 am

    I am a lipgloss kind of chick. Lipstick has too much of an over prepared look to it, besides over time it removes natural lip color. Great post Bhetti now I know why some days I made more moulah stripping than others. ;)

  9. April 7, 2010 9:16 am

    Regarding diet talk infront of men, my readership has grown signifiantly since I started Paleo/Primal eating. I wonder if it’s women or men who are increasing, I had thought men.

  10. April 7, 2010 9:36 am

    aoefe-

    I have gotten to know you more by coming over and reading your latest posts, thanks for sharing. I think blogs differ from that of real life. Men may be very interested in your diet posts, for sure, so it may an increase in men indeed. Your great rack doesn’t hurt either ;)

  11. April 7, 2010 12:46 pm

    Rebekah:
    Well, I wasn’t sure if you were single. Anyway, in your own words

    Their scent, presence, energy, etc., stands out to me like flashing neon; even at the supermarket, for example, they are no longer fellow human beings buying their groceries, they are walking sex.

    A sweet lovely lady being chronically single makes me sad. Mankind is missing out.

    Aoefe/anoukange:
    I wear all the makeup looks on the spectrum, depending on where I’m going, who I’m seeing, how much energy I have and whether I let my mother do my makeup ;)

  12. Firepower permalink
    April 7, 2010 1:44 pm

    Rebekah said:

    Their scent, presence, energy, etc., stands out to me like flashing neon; even at the supermarket, for example, they are no longer fellow human beings buying their groceries, they are walking sex.

    As the only man posting here, it’s only fair I congratulate your writing.

  13. April 7, 2010 6:10 pm

    Prefer lipgloss as well, so bad about keeping it on though by reapplying. Gloss really helps with making them look pouty, which seems more important than making them look colorful in fact.

    Firepower… Astute observation about darker eyes. Lol

    I am so bad about not talking about my dieting habits. When I feel “fat” it’s as if I am trying to aplogize it away by talking about my weight loss and workout plans. So dumb… but it is truly hard to be supermodel lean if you are not genetically and habitually predispositioned to it. Anything more than lingerie model lean just feels fat.

    Any way…

  14. April 7, 2010 9:19 pm

    Gloss: mistakes don’t look awful when you’re in a rush, too!

  15. Rebekah permalink
    April 7, 2010 9:34 pm

    Bhetti,

    A sweet lovely lady being chronically single makes me sad. Mankind is missing out.

    Such a sweet sentiment! Thanks ever so much.

    Firepower,

    As the only man posting here, it’s only fair I congratulate your writing.

    Thank you, Firepower…I think? :)

    And speaking of gloss, this is one of my most favorite lines.

  16. Rebekah permalink
    April 7, 2010 9:36 pm

    Darn it, let me try that link again:
    THIS is one of my favorite line.

  17. April 7, 2010 10:32 pm

    Bhetti said:
    “A sweet lovely lady being chronically single makes me sad. Mankind is missing out.”

    about Rebekah and I agree wholeheartedly! I adore Rebekah and think her being single is such a waste.

  18. April 7, 2010 11:28 pm

    I’d marry Rebekah if I was a guy. Tru stry.

  19. April 8, 2010 7:35 pm

    Me too!

  20. April 8, 2010 7:45 pm

    Is Michelle single?

  21. April 8, 2010 9:02 pm

    Ouch!

  22. Rebekah permalink
    April 9, 2010 1:25 am

    anouk and aoefe,

    Ditto. You two are so sweet, I wanna virtually pinch your cheeks!
    {facial cheeks…in a non-lesbian kind of way, lest anyone think that is why I don’t have a bf}

    :)

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