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A Test Of Your Game: The Approach

April 19, 2010

Following on from my recent post about Girl Game Fail in San Francisco, I want to ask y’all how to play it or advise playing it. So I’m going to borrow the famous roissy’s format and give you a scenario.

This one’s in real life and happened to the adorable single girlie:

Location: Wine bar, LA. You are sitting at a table.

Mission Objectives: Short-term? The number. Long-term? A long-term boyfriend.

I spotted a cutie across the room. He had a handsome face, olive skin and was wearing a beanie-type cap. My friends refused to get up and circulate with me (wingwoman fail), so I just stared at him. But he never glanced our way.

Soon after, [...] Beanie Boy had received a phone call and stepped outside.


We paid the check and walked out, and Beanie Boy was still outside on the phone.

Would you approach this dude? How?

Do not click until you’ve answered: Link to single girlie’s original post here.

23 Comments leave one →
  1. Challenge permalink
    April 19, 2010 8:44 am

    Outside? Ask for a light.

    If he has it, say, “Oh, I don’t smoke.”

    If he doesn’t, say, “That’s okay, I don’t smoke.”

    Smile at him.

    If he’s sly, he’ll get it. If he’s not, he’ll be confused.

    Continue the conversation anyway. Ask him what’s so important that he had to leave us (your group) alone.

  2. Firepower permalink
    April 19, 2010 1:40 pm

    Would you approach this dude? How?

    to snare a guy out there, you gotta distract his Girlfriend: hand lilgrl a mirror

  3. April 19, 2010 2:00 pm

    It’s NOT ALLOWED to be Epoxy, even though a beanie was involved and God knows what city that pair is at at any given moment.

    The world would be way too small.

  4. April 19, 2010 4:18 pm

    I would be very leery of approaching a guy like that for a long-term relationship. Guys like that have so many girls to choose from, they’ll likely be eternal bachelors. In fact when I was single I learned to not go for the good looking guys that all the girls were after. They were usually eyeing more attractive girls than me.

    I always became acquainted with guys first, before showing any interest. The only exception to this was my first boyfriend. I was in high school and found him cute, and he approached me after I made numerous eye contact. That eventually turned into an awful relationship in which communication was nearly impossible. He was not that bad of a guy, but we weren’t compatible.

    What I’m trying to say is that the chances of a guy being a good long-term material, when he’s good looking enough to pique your interest on looks alone, are not good, not good at all. So don’t go chasing after such men if you don’t want to get played or don’t want to just have a short fling. Never ever go after men on basis of their looks or status alone. Well, unless you have supermodel good looks (which I lack, so yeah).

  5. April 19, 2010 5:15 pm

    After texting your wingman the cue, you dawdle in front of your target. You make sure to give him a generous booty show (if you feel breath coming your way that means he is looking). You turn around and look back over your shoulder nonchalantly, briefly giving eye contact.

    Just then your wingman arrives, as your target is perhaps is checking out your sideb00b view (your eyes had already turned to look behind him, seemingly for someone). Your wing then snatches your purse.

    You struggle a bit with the “thief” but with your limited girlish strength it’s a struggle… Hair is flipping around… you are teetering on your heels…your dress is creeping up your thies… If your target doesn’t step in, perhaps your wing takes off running clumsily (on purpose of course). You yell (girlishly)…

    This is your target’s last chance to hopefully jump in and chase down the “thief”, grabbing the prize purse away in a triumphant show of manly valor.

    If all goes well…your target brings your purse to you. You show delight at the heroic deed! You thank him (but not too profusely, you don’t want trip off any “space crowding” or “hysterical weird girl” sensors).

    As you talk and laugh you even throw in a little kino as you lightly touch his bicep and say “Wow you really tackled that guy… kickboxing class never taught me that!” (Or something hopefully less cheesy that that lol)

    You openly check him out for just a flash of a second, letting your eyes linger on his form (he’ll get the hint if he has any sense). You blind him with your smile as your friends and onlookers join in the admiration and give him instant social status.

    You ask how you can thank him… Hopefully a this point he goes for it and asks for your number/drinks/dinner.

    Oh wait… LA is in Hollywood right? Oops. I was thinking more about Bollywood. ;-) lol

  6. April 19, 2010 5:17 pm

    Sorry for typos

  7. April 19, 2010 5:33 pm

    By the way it seems like most men will check out an @$$ when one is in their view. Since the girl isn’t face to face, they seem to feel comfortable looking. Of course then they wonder how the face measures up to the behind. Hence trying to provoke his attention indirectly.

    I agree a girl should not make any direct moves to not stymie long term potential. She needs to make him think he noticed her, etc. Even if she places herself in his view on purpose, or does something to break ice if he doesn’t take the bait. Maybe she could open her bag and papers fly out toward him, or she loses her keys, or acts like she lost her keys to her car/cant find her car/lost something… These “artificial” problems I think can give him an “ok” signal to step in. But HE must choose to step in, in my opinion. She can only give indirect green lights.

    Just my opinion of course.. And purely theoretical (I can only attest to these things having worked, but not always working for everyone).

  8. April 19, 2010 5:39 pm

    Abd by agree I meant more the earlier post we had about doing the first approach (can’t link to it at the moment). Girlsex is supposed to be scarce and tough to conquer, boysex not… So a girl should avoid coming across like she wants a guy too easily (based on looks etc as Hope said which is too shallow really).

  9. April 19, 2010 8:42 pm

    Hey, thanks for the shout out, Bhetti! For me, it was a fun experiment. Needed to step out of my comfort zone. Cheers! :)

  10. Nathan permalink
    April 19, 2010 9:20 pm

    Heh, lsb – did you get that off tv?

    Bret- “I saw it on a sitcom.”
    Jemaine – “Did it work on the sitcom?”
    Bret – “Not completely. But this is real, so I think I have a better chance.” …

  11. April 20, 2010 4:07 am

    Personally I would appraoch.

    1. because Im too shy

    2. If I were starting at a guy and he didnt so much as glance at me I would assume he is avoiding my gaze.

  12. Tvulture permalink
    April 20, 2010 1:53 pm

    “Since the girl isn’t face to face, they seem to feel comfortable looking.”

    That’s true, but maybe there’s another side to it. It’s easier to look, but it may also allow for more aggression. If you don’t have to look someone in the face, it’s easier to distance them and have less empathy. I think that’s what it means when they say “he saw me as a piece of meat.”

    Looking someone in the face and holding the gaze would close the distance between people and promote friendliness. Or at least let you know right away who isn’t going to be friendly. The trick is when you do look them in the face, you have to look friendly, not indignant or frozen. It’s not easy to be relaxed like that with a stranger, that’s why it’s tough. Tough for both men and women.

    Take a picture of this. New Year’s Eve party. Fellow who always complains about getting no respect from women gets good, friendly attention from woman. Wants to take pictures, wants to dance. Fellow wilts like lettuce in the desert. When criticized, he says: “Yeah, but she had that mask on! I wanna know who I’m dealing with!” It was a masquerade party…

    It’s strange. If people feel they are getting unwanted attention, they naturally want to look away. But by not showing their face, they may be aiding a more agressive attitude.

    By the way, don’t know if you guys knew this, but that word “kino” means dog in ancient greek. And not a neutral way of saying dog, the negative way…

  13. Firepower permalink
    April 20, 2010 3:00 pm


    It’s NOT ALLOWED to be Epoxy, even though a beanie was involved

    Well, then, the only other guy worthy of feminine attack is me, and Idon’t do California.

    still, I do like LSB’s sideboob ploy.
    There ain’t nothing THAT girl can’t fix with a little sideboob.

  14. Firepower permalink
    April 20, 2010 3:02 pm


    Personally I would appraoch.

    1. because Im too shy

    im curious just WHY are you so shy. you look like one of my ex gfs. she was hot. you don’t have one of those facebook bodies irl, do you?

  15. Il Capo permalink
    April 20, 2010 7:03 pm

    Sideboob and derriere FTW.

  16. Firepower permalink
    April 21, 2010 2:51 pm

    o gosh darn-a-doodley!

    I scared all these strong, empowered girls away

  17. April 21, 2010 2:54 pm

    @ Fire Power

    Thanks? I dont know…Im just shy around new people. That and I heard men dont like women coming onto them. That’s why I need Girl Game, Im lost!!!

    I dont know what you mean by facebook bodies but Ive been told I have a nice body. Im short with an hourglass figure, I could use more exercise though. Apparently I dont see myself the way others do.

  18. vomit permalink
    April 22, 2010 7:41 am

    Wait for him to get off the phone. Walk up. Say hi.

    That’s it.

  19. Firepower permalink
    April 22, 2010 12:57 pm

    I could use more exercise though. Apparently I dont see myself the way others do.

    NO body sees themselvesthe way others do. NO one.
    Once you comprehend that, You develop potential to organize an amalgamation of trusted associates that should be able to help you fill in the pieces of your actual self. If not, theyre saboteurs.

    Get some more exercise until you see results.
    but I’m biased, of the two things I date black chix for, one of them is cooking. mac n cheese goes a looong way with me.

  20. April 22, 2010 9:27 pm

    Haha that’s funny I love cooking mac n’ cheese…always made from scratch!

  21. Why Y? permalink
    April 22, 2010 11:22 pm

    Y, here’s some better advice:

    Look at all this useless nonsense when any girl needs to do only this:

    Smile genuinely at the man

    Walk over *and own that shit* to him, immediately sit down without invite

    And say “I think you’re really hot and I want you to take me out.”

    Commence slow-moving smile/smirk.

    And as you stand up abruptly, sling your number down on the table.

    Walk away and say nothing to him. By the time he gets done scrambling for your number and looks back up……..guess what? He get to watch you walk away now, too.

    There it is, ladies. I don’t care who you are, what you look like, but if do exactly what I said and make sure to do it in a somewhat aloof/arrogant but also smiling and charming way.

    Ignore all other approaches you may be considering….. and just do what I said every time and guaranteed he will call you before you have even gotten out of the parking lot

    *And that’s when the plan for the first date happens easy as shit too. When he’s calling you as fast as he can, lol*

  22. lovelysexybeauty permalink
    April 23, 2010 6:29 am

    Why Y sounds a lot like Rielle Hunter (john edwards mistress) style advice. So it may not only land you a phone call and date but a cash baby too!


  1. Test Results: Evaluating ‘The Approach’ « Girl Game

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