Dating Under the Influence
On a bad morning-after:
- “I can’t believe I did that. This is going to mess everything up. I shouldn’t have let him come over.”
- “OMG… what happened? Where am I? Where are my clothes?”
- “Oh no, I went too far. He looks so smug. I hope he doesn’t think he’s won me over now or something.”
It seems that many women today lack the ability to fully self-regulate their behavior.
Women will backwards-rationalize why we did something, treat our mistakes as a “learning process,” or more rarely, accept responsibility and vow to do better.
The fact remains that many, many women do things that are incongruous with what they believe, or what they realize might be in their best interests.
What’s So Wrong with That?
Things that women often regret (usually stepped into with an ignored modicum of doubt):
- Hooking up with a guy they just met, or sleeping with a guy “too early”
- Losing their cool and doing something that’s a turn-off, like unnecessary drama or emasculation
- Trying to get a guy “back” (often full of backwards-justification of epic proportions, if not complete denial)
- Clinging to dead-end guys lacking in character, commitment or compatibility
Why Does it Happen?
Do these things happen because innate girl-logic is hopelessly twisted? Are girl-brains so delusional that they can’t make conscious choices? Are girls so solipsistic that they just won’t follow wisdom and advice?
I don’t think so.
Plenty of women can self-regulate themselves enough to keep a job… accomplish educational goals… lose weight by eating less and exercising… pay their bills on time… keep a child alive… exploit legal loopholes…
Girl-logic can get twisted, but not because of something innately wrong with women’s hormone-addled brains.
When it gets twisted, a lot of times it’s because of alcohol.
What’s the Solution?
LSB’s advice: Don’t drink. OK fine… not everyone is cut for the teetotaler life. Just don’t get drunk when potentials are around (viz., everywhere). Under the influence one will lose the sense needed to recognize who those potentials are, and the grace needed to act like a potential oneself (meaning, girlfriend potential, not pump-and-dump potential).
Intoxication has been lauded by poets for centuries, and does function as a social lubricant. But learn to just get buzzed or if especially gregarious, charmingly tipsy but in control.
And if you must, learn to get puke-faced drunk safely; some people find complete drunken abandon very cathartic.
There are always exceptions to any rule, including drunken encounters. But expecting to be one of those exceptions is highly, highly risky.
For Those That Think That Hedonism is Fun… And Shouldn’t be Controlled
Food is a basic need too, and probably a greater one than sex. And many, many women can control their eating habits enough to look slim and stay healthy too.
Sex is both a physical and emotional experience for women. For some it’s downright spiritual. Short-term behavior does have long-term consequences… and I’m not talking about STDs and pregnancy. The experiences of the body affect the psyche and soul.